Yesterday I went to the beach in Tofino. I layed there and was battling with my thoughts for a couple of hours. I find that's always what happens. If I'm alone, in a quiet, peaceful surrounding, my mind takes over and I can't relax. I thought I wouldn't be able to get over it! I did a little bit of reading throughout (reading a great book by Osho) and still found I couldn't calm down. So I rested as much as I could and let everything go on and on and on. The chatter.
When I got up after about 2 hours of laying in the sun all of a sudden this huge amount of tension was released. I didn't understand it but it just happened. It's as if my constant struggle for two hours all of a sudden just went "whoooshh" and I was liberated from worry and thought! I was amazed. I felt lighter. And happier! Everything happened around me and I was no longer influenced by any of it.
I realized that every single day all I do -- without even noticing it -- is judge ... I constantly try to "change for the better" when the way that I am right now is perfect. The reason my mind keeps going is because there's a REASON to have this chatter. I figured out, I guess, that it's because I think too much on how to improve something, someone, or myself 24/7. If everything is perfect as it is, reason doesn't exist, for the only time you need to reason is because something isn't right, needs to be changed, whatever. RELAX! Let it be!! Flow! It's amazing how many times you can read this in a book or hear it from someone else and never truly understand it until it happens to you.
PS: I can't form proper sentences today.
PPS: I ain't gonna try to change that.