Feel Alive!

Choose to be whomever you please; imaginary or real.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Relationships are all the talk these days. Everyone's in one or has just fallen out of one ... and I don't know too many that are doing overly well, either. Makes me kind of sick to my stomach.

Today's thoughts (mostly rhetorical questions) revolve around how "together" two people should be. I suppose it all depends on the couple, but is there a "normal" amount of "togetherness"? By this I mean, does your partner become part of you, or do you stay two seperate entities? Do the choices your partner makes affect how you feel about yourself, as if linked with a transparent thread to your heart?

Personally I can't help but feel the hurt that my partner feels, and in turn feel disappointed when he does something I don't agree with. So what's the limit? How much can one take? Morals, values and ethics are supposed to be what you stand for, what you believe in and you're supposed to live your truth! Is it okay for your partner to contradict one of these? Can you love someone who goes against what you believe is right and wrong? A friend and I were discussing independence in relationships and how healthy it can be -- if you don't take it too far. You're in a relationship because you're supposed to compliment each other, work well together, and push each other forward.

....blaahahrhrhrhrgh.

Monday, March 21, 2011

But, all in all...

From order comes chaos.
From chaos comes order.
Round and round it goes ... until the world stops spinning.
So, attached to my previous post, what do we do to be happy again? Affirmations aren't enough. New belief systems aren't enough, and no amount of alcohol or drugs could cover up the emotions forcing themselves through our pores. So if it's not an outside source that will cure our insides, guess we gotta use our insides to cure the outside?

I've found that crying helps, although I feel like an emotional wreck at times ... but it's so much better than holding it in. Most of the time I have no idea what I'm crying about! But half an hour or so later I'm satisfied and feel that my body's gotten rid of the negative crap taking over my brain.

Time is a big thing now too, as we constantly feel that there isn't enough of it to get what we want done. Funny thing is that time seems to slow down if you stop thinking about it so much. And that is definitely one way to be happier -- SLOW DOWN! Stop caring so much about where you gotta be ... focus on where you are.
Life is hectic right now. Crazy. Even if we're well off and have everything we could really ask for, our internal state is not satisfied. Our will power is slowly washing away. All the things we do don't have the same importance as they used to. The food we eat feels drained of its life energy, and in turn our bodies slowly drain themselves of the vitality we no longer have access to. There are so many factors we could blame, but really, all we have to blame is our selves.

I'm sure we all knew this "day" would arrive. The day where everyone is emotionally unstable -- much like the earth -- so much so that nothing is certain anymore, and our visions of a bright future quickly fade at the thought of the hard work needed to undo the damage we've done over thousands of years. Parents are divorcing, children are getting addicted to mind-numbing substances, animals all over the planet are going extinct, the trees are catching fire ... these are all polar symptoms of the same growing, spreading disease.

Not many of my friends' relationships are working. Not many of my friends' parents' relationships (including my own) are working. More and more people can't stand being in a room together, and when humans walk by each other we avoid all eye contact. Are we just afraid of others finding out what's hidden under the very thin layer of skin we're bound to? Finding out that really, we're just a huge sack o' potatoes?!

... it's as good of a guess as any.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Having trust issues is never really about the other person. Your mind is constantly fabricating your worry. Trust and worry are things that run through time; without a timeline, we'd have nothing to gauge worry or trust by. The mind conceptualizes absolutely everything before making it a reality, including something as crazy as wondering why your husband isn't home yet and imagining ten different scenarios that just aren't true... yet.

So deal with things as they happen, IF they happen!
The only thing in your control is the way you let yourself perceive an incident.You are constantly propelling your own misery and creating environments where your ego was right. Your mind will make it up first, and then things will happen around you to reflect your inner world.
So stop worrying.
Because you're only creating the misery much earlier on than you needed to. And if you have trust issues, people around you will show you why.