Feel Alive!

Choose to be whomever you please; imaginary or real.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Drawing Philosophy

Funny. Funny how some days you pick up a pencil and you draw that figure like it's no one's business. Other days -- thankfully, they're rare -- you can't put two and two together no matter how hard you try. I find that from day to day, my visual perception of things changes dramatically, and I notice this when I put pencil to paper. Most times I won't know what kind of day it is until I start sketching.

What is it that makes you able to connect your eye to your hand? Is it space in your brain, occupied by other thoughts? Being able to clear your mind so you can let some kind of "creative energy" flow through? I've made some different connections to my drawing abilities which I'm going to try to list.

1) Shapes, blocks, negative and positive space are what my eyes grab instantly.

2) I'm not even aware that I'm using my eyes at all, it's more of a "feeling" of knowing what I'm drawing.

3) My hand and my body is loose, eager, always waiting for that next stroke, whereas some days it's a struggle to get the hand to move at all.

4) Doubt. Doubt that what I'm doing is right, judging every move I make -- from the very start knowing the drawing is blotched.

5) Feeling disconnected from the image, not relating to the subject. Sometimes there is a connection to the object/subject even though I'm not familiar with it at all, every curve I draw being familiar and cozy.

6) Stress? I'm feeling a bit more anxious today. That alters your state of mind and reception to incoming emotions (yes, I would refer to drawing as being emotional).

7) Visualization. Some days I can totally see the picture on the paper already. So then, it's almost feeling like I'm tracing over the image that my mind is projecting onto the page. So easy.

I guess I'm going to have to update this as I find new things out. Today, my brain feels a little bit more foggy, I do admit. So no matter how hard I try I can't draw what I want to be drawing. But perhaps this calls for another style of drawing? Perhaps less realism? Maybe my hand would move easier if it weren't constrained to certain lines and specific subjects. One moment, let me test this theory...

Ah yes. Feels much more comfortable without guidelines today. Wonder if I could do an anatomical drawing and get some good results.

So I can gauge my mood on my drawing abilities. Now, can I alter my mood by altering my drawing style? Or perhaps vice versa?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Fifty-4

You are so in control, at all times, even when you don't realise it. I read somewhere once that a positive thought can out-power numerous amounts of negative thoughts; this was certainly true for me when I felt stressed last night. Going to meet my client, I had some bad habitual patterns repeating in my mind as I drove over there: "It's going to be hard to communicate, I don't know what to say, things won't go the way I want them to" and all that nonsense jazz. I caught myself swimming in these horrible thoughts and decided that I was in control of my own life and thinking this way would get me absolutely nowhere. As much as I was still feeling my heart beat faster and faster as I approached my destination, I overlapped my negative thoughts with powerful positive ones. "I am in control, I always have the upper hand, I am the boss of my own life, everything I do and say is taken the right way, conversation flows, things will go so smoothly and be over and done with quickly".

The results surprised me. As I was telling myself these things, changing my thoughts around, I was definitely aware of the stress my body was having to endure. It might still go wrong since my body wasn't feeling the same as what I was telling it to be feeling. Boy was I wrong, though! During the meeting I realized that everything I'd told myself had come to be true once I entered the "scene". I was like a writer narrating what was about to happen, and even if the main character was hard to picture in such a situation, it just played itself out beautifully. After the meeting was over, I was so proud of myself and felt like a million bucks.

You prove these things over and over to yourself. But everyday you forget the power of it. Just keep remembering, though, because it really does get you through. If you want it, speak it, and if you don't feel it -- yet -- then just know for a fact you will when it's required to be felt, and everything will work out to be most beneficial for you when the time comes.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Fifty-3

A philosophy on relationships, by Tom Robbins:

“When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”