Feel Alive!

Choose to be whomever you please; imaginary or real.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Piscean Nature

Just went to astro.com for the first time in a long time. Here's a couple of my favorite sections about my Piscean self, and so much of it hits home.
"It's impossible to understand your real motivations, because like the tides of the ocean, they change all the time. Pisces is concerned with a realm that has no boundaries."

"You have a fluidity and complexity which can be alternatively enchanting and infuriating. There are so many people inside you that others wonder when the real Pisces will stand up and be seen. Sometimes you show a strange passivity or inertia when a crisis looms. But making decisions requires choosing one thing over another, and to you all choices contain some truth. Seeing the relativity of truth is a great gift, because it makes you tolerant and forgiving - and, occasionally, incredibly lax. "

"That calm, wise indifference with which you greet human transgressions not only applies to your own transgressions. You can sit quietly while your lover leaves, your children insult you, your employer heaps abuse on your head, and your landlord throws you out of your house. Pisceans seem to accept misfortune as though they were born to it, expect it, even welcome it. But you know something other signs don't: all that human suffering means little when your eyes and heart are focused on a greater unity."

"But you have an intuitive sense of some other reality, something magical and elusive, a transcendent unity which makes ordinary life seem drab and meaningless."

"You're also an incurable romantic. Some Pisceans have lots of defences to hide this tendency, but romantic you were born and romantic you will remain. And romance isn't just about love affairs. You crave magic, and you get bored more easily than any other sign. The only truly consistent things about you are your allegiance to a higher, deeper reality and your love and longing for change. Never mind the safe job, the conventional social status, the budget which ensures your pension will see you through old age. You'll take hyacinths for the soul any time."

"Pisceans may be technically faithful, but their imagination isn't, and never will be. Yet the Pisces partner can give a depth of understanding and communion unmatched by any other sign. Pisceans have an essentially unpossessable quality, no matter how long you've known them. Some part of them will always belong to the cosmos, and not to you. The Pisces partner may reveal forty-five of the sixty-eight selves she's discovered inside herself that week. Be content with that. There will be dreams and visions which you never get to hear about."

*** "Keep asking a Pisces what she's thinking when she gets that vague, dreamy look, and you'll drive yourself (and her) crazy and never get any satisfactory answers. The real truth is that she probably doesn't know; she just "went off", and now she's back again. Many of Pisces' ways of communicating are nonverbal. Try to force her into rigid explanations or declarations and it's like holding a handful of water - it slides through your fingers and is gone."

"Remember never to trample on those otherworld dreams and intuitive visions, or ever assume you've understood the complex Piscean nature completely. Just when you do, they'll change on you."

About the man in my life: "It has to be said that the Taurus man can be smug. Yet when you're in a mess, he can be a rock of strength, calmness and common sense. He probably won't understand the mess, but he believes that everything should have a simple solution, and most of the time he's right - and he'll find it, no matter how complicated you thought the problem was."

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The past, the past, the past ...

Awesome exerpts from Inward Revolution, by J. Krishnamurti:

"A mind that would perceive what truth is must be free of all the conditioning of any particular culture, which means free of any belief. For belief is based on the desire for comfort, for security, or on fear. You don't believe that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. You know it will rise. It's only the mind that is uncertain, confused, seeking security, comfort; it's only the mind that believes. So one must be totally free of all belief, all conclusions and obviously, all ideals. The fact that a mind that is clouded by belief cannot possibly see what truth is, though it may search for it. Do you see the truth of it? If you see the truth of it, then it's finished. Your mind then is free to observe. As you are listening, are you observing your own beliefs, your own conclusions? Do you see that such a mind is incapable of looking, of perceiving clearly? If you would perceive clearly, the mind must be totally free of belief."

"Surely, love is not an idea; love is not an image; love is not cultivation of the memory of a person whom you think you love. Love is something totally new every minute, because it is not cultivable, it is not the result of effort, strain, conflict. Where there is love, there is no conflict, because love is not a structure of the image-builder (memory, the past, the brain)."

"So a person who would live at peace with himself and with the world must understand this whole structure of knowledge about himself and the world, knowledge which is the past. A mind that lives in the past is no mind at all; it is a dead, static thing. You are living on other people's experience. Please do see this. You have not exercised that marvelous instrument which is the brain. You use it technologically when you become an engineer, when you are fighting for a job, when you are cheating your neighbor in business. But you refuse to use that brain in understanding human relationship, upon which all our social behavior is based. Unless you do this with your heart, with your whole being, your seeking God, your wanting truth, happiness has no meaning whatsoever. You can go hunting after each guru, but you will never find truth, you will never come upon it. You must learn. You must have a mind that is sensitive, clear, objective, healthy, that has no fear."

Saturday, June 16, 2012


It's pretty amazing that through a short amount of time, our sense of smell has become, shall we say, purer. I don't find too many folks anymore who actually enjoy a perfume or non-organic fragrance. Colognes, for example, deter me now, whereas a couple of years ago it was completely the opposite. I didn't like it when my man didn't wear cologne or scented deodorant.


I guess not. It's either we're growing older (my friends and I) and so I don't know a demographic that LIKES cologne/perfume anymore, or all of us in general are becoming more aware of our surroundings through the 5 senses and smell is more important than ever. Perhaps a feeling that our instincts and senses will be necessary for our survival. Fake smells trick your brain into thinking a certain way, which messes with everything you know. Much like how the invention of plastic has made us change the way we feel weight.

Mmm, organic things. Everyone's into it. Well, I guess there's a few out there still not really gettin' it... but just give them time and they'll be in the same boat too. Something about evolution that's just making us go back to the way things naturally were ....

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Becoming something you're not ... yet

How do you become something you're not?
How do you let go of the old you so that you may evolve into who you want to be?

There must be a way. But there is resistance in me.
How is there resistance to betterment? To increasing happiness?
Are we just doomed to stay little, miserable, alone, struggling through life?

I don't believe so. I know there's a way out of this dark tunnel.

Hard to see it right now, but as my partner put it, if you're spinning the stick, it will make fire. You must keep going and be patient; it will ignite. If you stop though, you'll never get the fire you worked so hard to make.

I must revisit my beliefs about who I am. I can change who I am in a day, if I so choose, can I not? It just takes a lot of power and letting go of ego (as it's being fed  by your propelling of stories about yourself through the past). Traumatizing events make it hard for your mind to relate to anything differently. Actually, even events that don't feel traumatizing impact who you are today, and instill fear of change in you. Everything that's ever happened to me, or that I created for myself, led me to who I am today  ...  but what if I suddenly chose a different path? Could I change faster than I think? Instead of it taking me 20 odd years to come to this, could I take 20 days and transform who I am completely? Hardest part will be shedding the belief systems I don't even know I hold. So, then, first step would be to dig deep and find out what's holding me back.

What beliefs don't suit who I want to be anymore? What can I do everyday to instill the right ones?

Friday, June 1, 2012

Energy Workshops

I experienced a release the other day which came quite unexpectedly; I guess for where I was going, I should have expected it. I entered a room filled with people who are highly "spiritually attuned"; I entered a psychic/energy expo. I mainly went to check out my mom's booth, as she does past life regression & hypnotherapy (knowthyselves.com). After an hour or so of hanging out, I found myself floating to a couple of different workshops. Now, I'm not the kind of person to like doing group work. Anything that involves me and a bunch of people in a circle "loosening" up and shaking about isn't what I'd be signing up for on a usual day. But I figured, if I was there, I may as well just go and make a fool of myself -- who cares what anyone thinks really -- so I did.

I'm so happy I convinced myself to step inside that large, LARGE empty gymnasium to do the Qi Gong workshop.  We stood there, shook our little bodies, saluted the sun, brought a "ball of light" through our entire bodies ... at first it felt really funny, but when I loosened up a bit more I started to enjoy the feeling of it all. It was really liberating, clearing, and I ended up quite literally vibrating; although the postures and moves were easy peasy, a couple spots in my body started to ache. This meant energy was being circulated into those sensitive areas, in turn irritating sore spots. I got outta there just floating. Happy, as though I'd just released all of my junk.

Next I went to a meditation class, a Cowabunga Life workshop (cowabungalife.com). Brad had spoken at this really cool event called the Awesome Shit Club, where he mentioned he was going to put together 40 daily meditations sent to your email every day to make you feel better about your life. His energy was explosive ... the moment he stepped on that stage and said a word (actually, I think it was "ooommmm" haha), all of us felt better than we had the second before. It's not easy to say that in a room full of strangers who aren't necessarily spiritual in any way, and still get a good response. Aaaaanyway! I went to Brad's meditation class. Apart from having to dance like monkeys at the very beginning (like I said, not my thing), the class was amazing! I actually started crying from the true, beautiful things that came out of his mouth. He's all about finding the things that make you the most happy in life and bringing more of that stuff in. It's all so simple when you hear it from someone else. Sure, I'll just dump all the things that don't make me happy and do all the things that do!! Of course, I'm a firm believer in the fact that once you've set a path and it makes you feel GOOD, the universe will conspire with you to make it all happen -- sometimes in the strangest ways of course -- and if you are confused, cluttered, frustrated, or in any kind of negative mind state, you'll end up attracting that too. The universe doesn't judge whether what you're asking for is good or bad. It'll just give it to ya. So be careful what you wish for.

I came out of his class even more buzzing than after the Qi Gong workshop. Two amazing, energetically charged workshops in a row?!! I was bouncing off the walls, I coulda started flying! But I found that my energy quickly depleted only a couple hours later ... but my ego was fighting really hard to stay in that "happy" state of mind. That's probably the worst one could do, is try to "hold on" to a state of mind, because then it's forced, fake, and in conflict. So I let it all go. I figured that so much energy at once, with my body not being used to it at ALL, would tire my body down.

This was one of the most pleasant days I've had in a long time. Now I'm trying to implement more breathing techniques and movement in my daily routines. I miss dancing, and dancing makes me SO happy. I miss singing, music, activity, buzzing crowds ... so I suppose that's what I'll be adding to my life! And meditation!!! Hope you find what it is in your life you're missing to make you more energetic, makes you happy, and makes you feel like you're doing the RIGHT THING for YOU.

Love, Lyds