Feel Alive!

Choose to be whomever you please; imaginary or real.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

It Doesn't Interest Me ...

Someone posted this on Facebook today and it gave me shivers. Sometimes words come along that make you want to change and be better and better and better.
"It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon... I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow; if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain -- mine or your own -- without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy -- mine or your own -- if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day. If you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure -- yours and mine -- and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!” It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in these empty moments."    Oriah

Wednesday, July 11, 2012


I'm currently reading this amazing book called "The Introvert Advantage". Highly recommended to anyone who feels they might be out of the loop with society. Sometimes I feel like I don't fit in quite right, or I judge every move I make too harshly. Conversation doesn't come to me as naturally as most others, and using my short-term memory (even remembering what I did last night) is difficult. Yep, those are all introvert "qualities".

A lot of it reassures that I'm still normal, despite what other people tell me. I know there's a third of the population out there who make a fuss over the little things like I do, and who can't stand being at parties and small-talk chit-chatting for hours. It's cool, cause I can then reinforce the really great qualities of my introvertedness and use it to my advantage. It's also shown me how much my partner and I differ in different areas that I never understood before. It's not that he likes his friends more than me, it's that he needs a larger group of people to satisfy his energy cravings, whereas I feed off of one or two people to get energized. So amazing, the things you learn and that make you feel way differently about yourself!

Saturday, July 7, 2012

About Fashion

Yesterday, at an art show, I mentioned to a friend that I take a long time in the morning choosing what I feel like wearing. I don't know what it is that influences my choices, I suppose it's a lot of different things, like what colour do I feel like expressing, do I want to be comfortable or do I mind being in a bit tighter-fitting clothes, do I want to stand out in a crowd or blend in, do I want to be dark or bright, simple or complicated, eccentric or normal, and so many other factors. Throughout the seasons my style also changes; if it's summer, I have a lot less layering to do.

Anyway, when I told my friend this he was blown away. He doesn't get why girls (I think both girls and boys can take as long getting dressed) take so long trying to decide what to wear, trying to look "perfect" all the time. His girlfriend takes pride in her appearance and takes a long time to get ready in the morning, and it's very hard for him to understand why one would bother taking all that time. It must be frustrating for those who just don't see any benefit or purpose to fashion. We all brought up some really good points though, as to why people want to feel trendy, feel good in their clothing, conform or stand out from a crowd ... and it all has to do with social acceptance and exchange of information.

If I think (really hard) about why I dress up the way that I do, it's mainly because I find my being another canvas. My self is a portrait, much like a painted portrait, of who I am and which era I live in. It tends to describe what I like, and sometimes what I'm interested in. I can NOT wear the same thing twice. Yes, I will wear a shirt a bunch of times, but I won't be able to wear it in the same combination with the same other pieces even twice... if I do, a long time must go by in between. It's almost like an artistic challenge every morning: how can I combine what I have and turn it into something brand new? The way my brain works (I've figured through time) is it wants to improve everything it sees, and never repeat anything. It wants to make things better, different, more complex, always wants to add something new into the mix. It erks me to even take the same route to the coffee shop every day. You could say I'm an entrepreneur ...
I will surely be influenced by what other people think. Probably because I always want to look new and exciting, but I also want to look "good" to the public. I want people to think some kind of positive thought when they see me, whether this be "she's creative" or "she's mysterious" or "wow, how did she think of putting all those layers together?" Perhaps because that's what I think when I see others who look really good or interesting. If I enjoy it in other people, I sure will want to reflect this in myself.

There's my little rant on fashion. Why do you dress the way you do?