Life hits you with incredibility, but with that intensity how are you to deal with insanity? Intelligent as you are, you'll have to find a way to stop thinking about it all, urgently and sporadically try and fix it all. Intelligence will do you no good; the heart has its own vision which may be misunderstood by the careless mind, the mind you find so well rounded, confined to ideals you've been brought up to define in a way so measured, so carefully pressured, steamed at the right temperature, cooked to perfection so you could handle these kinds of situations.
Are you ready to let go of all of it? Will disbelief -- removal from your deepest beliefs -- be the only way out of it?