Feel Alive!

Choose to be whomever you please; imaginary or real.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Nonsense and exhaustion

It's all about being here, right now. Not forgetting to breathe deeply into who you are in this very moment. We all get so preoccupied trying to get somewhere, making goals, striving for bigger and better things. In the midst of it all, I personally get so ungrounded and shut off from my current situation, I forget to appreciate what I'm up to right now. Most of the time, what I'm doing is what I want to be doing, like being with close friends, family, doing something that is relaxing, having fun playing a sport or doing art or making delicious food. I am so lucky -- so fortunate -- to have access to all of this. What's wrong with what I'm doing? Absolutely nothing. But sometimes pressure builds up inside of me, a need to go farther and beyond what I've accomplished, and think of a way to be bigger and better than what I am now. I want to be "more professional", "more proficient", "more productive". I understand this is healthy to a point -- becoming what you ultimately see yourself being -- but then it just gets stressful.

and SO EXHAUSTING!

I'm taking the time to listen to my thoughts, watch them float by, and stop judging my actions. I want to be content, be happy with every move. Every step I take is beneficial. I don't think there's any real destination in life, which makes it more difficult for my brain to interpret why I'm even here doing what I'm doing, but it also relieves me of the constant pressure from the outside world telling me I should be doing more, better, something else, something someone else wants me to do. Hell even writing this out I'm filtering my thoughts and wondering if the words I'm choosing are good enough to convey what I'm actually thinking; which was filtered in the first place so I guess not.

Thank goodness no one really reads this.
Makes no sense today.

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