So, attached to my previous post, what do we do to be happy again? Affirmations aren't enough. New belief systems aren't enough, and no amount of alcohol or drugs could cover up the emotions forcing themselves through our pores. So if it's not an outside source that will cure our insides, guess we gotta use our insides to cure the outside?
I've found that crying helps, although I feel like an emotional wreck at times ... but it's so much better than holding it in. Most of the time I have no idea what I'm crying about! But half an hour or so later I'm satisfied and feel that my body's gotten rid of the negative crap taking over my brain.
Time is a big thing now too, as we constantly feel that there isn't enough of it to get what we want done. Funny thing is that time seems to slow down if you stop thinking about it so much. And that is definitely one way to be happier -- SLOW DOWN! Stop caring so much about where you gotta be ... focus on where you are.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Life is hectic right now. Crazy. Even if we're well off and have everything we could really ask for, our internal state is not satisfied. Our will power is slowly washing away. All the things we do don't have the same importance as they used to. The food we eat feels drained of its life energy, and in turn our bodies slowly drain themselves of the vitality we no longer have access to. There are so many factors we could blame, but really, all we have to blame is our selves.
I'm sure we all knew this "day" would arrive. The day where everyone is emotionally unstable -- much like the earth -- so much so that nothing is certain anymore, and our visions of a bright future quickly fade at the thought of the hard work needed to undo the damage we've done over thousands of years. Parents are divorcing, children are getting addicted to mind-numbing substances, animals all over the planet are going extinct, the trees are catching fire ... these are all polar symptoms of the same growing, spreading disease.
Not many of my friends' relationships are working. Not many of my friends' parents' relationships (including my own) are working. More and more people can't stand being in a room together, and when humans walk by each other we avoid all eye contact. Are we just afraid of others finding out what's hidden under the very thin layer of skin we're bound to? Finding out that really, we're just a huge sack o' potatoes?!
... it's as good of a guess as any.
I'm sure we all knew this "day" would arrive. The day where everyone is emotionally unstable -- much like the earth -- so much so that nothing is certain anymore, and our visions of a bright future quickly fade at the thought of the hard work needed to undo the damage we've done over thousands of years. Parents are divorcing, children are getting addicted to mind-numbing substances, animals all over the planet are going extinct, the trees are catching fire ... these are all polar symptoms of the same growing, spreading disease.
Not many of my friends' relationships are working. Not many of my friends' parents' relationships (including my own) are working. More and more people can't stand being in a room together, and when humans walk by each other we avoid all eye contact. Are we just afraid of others finding out what's hidden under the very thin layer of skin we're bound to? Finding out that really, we're just a huge sack o' potatoes?!
... it's as good of a guess as any.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Having trust issues is never really about the other person. Your mind is constantly fabricating your worry. Trust and worry are things that run through time; without a timeline, we'd have nothing to gauge worry or trust by. The mind conceptualizes absolutely everything before making it a reality, including something as crazy as wondering why your husband isn't home yet and imagining ten different scenarios that just aren't true... yet.
So deal with things as they happen, IF they happen!
The only thing in your control is the way you let yourself perceive an incident.You are constantly propelling your own misery and creating environments where your ego was right. Your mind will make it up first, and then things will happen around you to reflect your inner world.
So stop worrying.
Because you're only creating the misery much earlier on than you needed to. And if you have trust issues, people around you will show you why.
So deal with things as they happen, IF they happen!
The only thing in your control is the way you let yourself perceive an incident.You are constantly propelling your own misery and creating environments where your ego was right. Your mind will make it up first, and then things will happen around you to reflect your inner world.
So stop worrying.
Because you're only creating the misery much earlier on than you needed to. And if you have trust issues, people around you will show you why.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
2010 disappeared. Probably didn't even happen. Memories are hard to hold on to.
---
I'm in a crazy weird mood. Fed up with a few things, mainly my own body and how it seems I can't even control my own vehicle. Maybe I'm not changing the oil frequently enough, or I'm running on empty. So now; to find my fuel. How do you find something you didn't know was missing in the first place?
---
Health. Health is coming up big time, all the time. I've been sick in many different ways but now things have hit hard. Sickness that you can't turn your back on, long term effects that can only be cured with real physical effort, diligance and probably a good work out plan. Fuck I hate working out.
---
Life can be beautiful and so ugly all at the same time. While I'm sitting here someone else is suffering a tremendous amount without my knowing it. While I'm sitting here my body's cells are fighting bacteria I have no clue exists. While I sit here in this gloomy office, comfortable, dry, out of the cold ... someone is sitting outside of this gloomy office, uncomfortable, wet, in the cold. This morning I dropped all my things on the bus, then I went to grab a coffee and the barista gave me an extra snack for free. Balance in all things, I suppose. What I wonder about all this is: does our mood affect our surroundings, or do our surroundings affect our mood? If I was pissed off after the bus incident, why did I bring the extra snack to myself shortly after?
---
I'm in a crazy weird mood. Fed up with a few things, mainly my own body and how it seems I can't even control my own vehicle. Maybe I'm not changing the oil frequently enough, or I'm running on empty. So now; to find my fuel. How do you find something you didn't know was missing in the first place?
---
Health. Health is coming up big time, all the time. I've been sick in many different ways but now things have hit hard. Sickness that you can't turn your back on, long term effects that can only be cured with real physical effort, diligance and probably a good work out plan. Fuck I hate working out.
---
Life can be beautiful and so ugly all at the same time. While I'm sitting here someone else is suffering a tremendous amount without my knowing it. While I'm sitting here my body's cells are fighting bacteria I have no clue exists. While I sit here in this gloomy office, comfortable, dry, out of the cold ... someone is sitting outside of this gloomy office, uncomfortable, wet, in the cold. This morning I dropped all my things on the bus, then I went to grab a coffee and the barista gave me an extra snack for free. Balance in all things, I suppose. What I wonder about all this is: does our mood affect our surroundings, or do our surroundings affect our mood? If I was pissed off after the bus incident, why did I bring the extra snack to myself shortly after?
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