Feel Alive!

Choose to be whomever you please; imaginary or real.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

2010 disappeared. Probably didn't even happen. Memories are hard to hold on to.


I'm in a crazy weird mood. Fed up with a few things, mainly my own body and how it seems I can't even control my own vehicle. Maybe I'm not changing the oil frequently enough, or I'm running on empty. So now; to find my fuel. How do you find something you didn't know was missing in the first place?


Health. Health is coming up big time, all the time. I've been sick in many different ways but now things have hit hard. Sickness that you can't turn your back on, long term effects that can only be cured with real physical effort, diligance and probably a good work out plan. Fuck I hate working out.


Life can be beautiful and so ugly all at the same time. While I'm sitting here someone else is suffering a tremendous amount without my knowing it. While I'm sitting here my body's cells are fighting bacteria I have no clue exists. While I sit here in this gloomy office, comfortable, dry, out of the cold ... someone is sitting outside of this gloomy office, uncomfortable, wet, in the cold. This morning I dropped all my things on the bus, then I went to grab a coffee and the barista gave me an extra snack for free. Balance in all things, I suppose. What I wonder about all this is: does our mood affect our surroundings, or do our surroundings affect our mood? If I was pissed off after the bus incident, why did I bring the extra snack to myself shortly after?

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