2018

2018.
It's here.
I'm in it.
You're in it.
We got here together, well done.

One breath, one step, one day at a time, we manufacture our stories. Every day we have created a world for ourselves, one we expected to be one way, but mostly turned out completely different than we could have imagined.

I wonder if I'll ever find something steady, without wanting to upset the balance and shake everything up all the time. I never know what I want. I never know where I want to be. It's tiring, frustrating, and energy consuming to try to figure out why I do this to myself. It's also heartbreaking and upsetting for the people around me who are intertwined with me, whom I've wrapped myself up in. Unravelling from a loving relationship - one I didn't expect to so suddenly need to unravel - is the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. Hurting someone is the hardest thing I could ever do in my life. No matter how existential my crisis, those outside of me have much more power over my heart than I do. I am nostalgic. Nostalgia only ever remembers all of the beauty. Why did I do this?

I came to San Pancho / Mexico in hopes of shaking up my reality. So that I am shocked into knowing why I did this.
Who the fuck I am and
what the fuck I want.

Excuse my language.
2018, here I come.

What are you facing?