Security and Adventure

"... it is not a problem that you solve,
it is a paradox that you manage."

- Esther Perell on reconciling two opposing forces - security and adventure - a tension so necessary in modern desire.

The point is now

Follow the breath
in every moment
every point . . . .
infinite points.
It is a magnifying glass
to this. this. th—
The moment your mind
has rooooom for a word
it has been thrown
away into the future.

Make you smile

To make you smile;
All I ever wanted.
Simple enough.
Must it be so complicated?
Complicated!
An understatement.
To make you smile;
All I ever wanted.
All I should ever want.
Simple enough.
Must I keep asking for more?
To make you smile;
Complicated!
All I should ever want.
Simple enough.
Complicated.
Smile!
Simple.

Creating Through Time

Exploring inner dialogue through outer expression.
What feels good to me, what feels natural.
What I put down and feel resonates for now,
for a long time,
or never really did.

Building a library of my own public works through time. Eventually, there will be enough of them that they all have a similar substance, that one might relate them all to each other. And if this is not echoed outwardly - no matter what - they will have retained my signature. They will have been drawn by the same hand, sourced by the same human being! That is enough to be proud of and call a lifetime of achievement.

Is it not?

torment of love

It is hard to rid ourselves of their love. They torment us from within, from without. Any little thing will set us off, in a moment when we least expect it, when we really didn't invite it but it crept up anyhow. Unsure how. Or why. Why it happened that way, why it showed up out of nowhere, a memory ignited by fragrance or arrangement, by the lack of something or the presence of something. The only thing that'll pack the ghost away is time, and it is not on our side. We must wait so very patiently, so very tortured minute to minute, waiting for the next apparition to inevitably arrive and for our heartaches to subside.

Someone is playing a cruel joke on us. We are kept in the infinity symbol of time, which begins and ends with love. We are brought into the world to experience the truest of joys, the truest of sorrows. Round and round we will go, repeating mistakes, seeing ghosts of lovers past, digging up old bodies from the closet, setting our hearts on fire, walking on egg shells, shattering on impact, melting into nothingness, escaping from the crowds. The darkest of our days will be illuminated once again if we trust the joker's cycle. If we hop along for the ride and laugh at our misfortunes. Do we not long for the torment of love? Are we not masochists, waiting to be destroyed by our insatiable hunger? Do we not want to taste the sweet, sweet fruit of desire, knowing full well the Dark Queen is seducing us?

In Service

Contentment is an empty container. It's the empty cup that is available for filling.

When I'm not constantly worried about how I'm feeling inside, when I'm not constantly tuned inward, it gives me the room to see. The room to see others, to see and interact with my environment, to appreciate and get inspired by simple things. It feels good not to feel heavy, not to have burden.

In these moments I am ready for something bigger. My work will take me to places I don't know yet, and I am ready for that. I am ready to embark on a larger mission, in service of something greater than myself, in which I can feel a surrender and give up my illusion of control.

I feel called to learn about my environment, about the way of things. With this kind of knowledge I can better focus my efforts, understanding what keeps this world in balance, what keeps the natural world thriving. So, I will start consciously keeping an ear out for this information. Connect with humans who know more than me, who can show me the way. Perhaps in time, I can use my art to teach others what I've learned.

Joy and Sorrow

Song of the Wave
Khalil Gibran

The strong shore is my beloved
And I am his sweetheart.
We are at last united by love, and
Then the moon draws me from him.
I go to him in haste and depart
Reluctantly, with many
Little farewells.


I steal swiftly from behind the
Blue horizon to cast the silver of
My foam upon the gold of his sand, and
We blend in melted brilliance.


I quench his thirst and submerge his
Heart; he softens my voice and subdues
My temper.
At dawn I recite the rules of love upon
His ears, and he embraces me longingly.


At eventide I sing to him the song of
Hope, and then print smooth hisses upon
His face; I am swift and fearful, but he
Is quiet, patient, and thoughtful. His
Broad bosom soothes my restlessness.


As the tide comes we caress each other,
When it withdraws, I drop to his feet in
Prayer.


Many times have I danced around mermaids
As they rose from the depths and rested
Upon my crest to watch the stars;
Many times have I heard lovers complain
Of their smallness, and I helped them to sigh.


Many times have I teased the great rocks
And fondled them with a smile, but never
Have I received laughter from them;
Many times have I lifted drowning souls
And carried them tenderly to my beloved
Shore. He gives them strength as he
Takes mine.


Many times have I stolen gems from the
Depths and presented them to my beloved
Shore. He takes them in silence, but still
I give fro he welcomes me ever.


In the heaviness of night, when all
Creatures seek the ghost of Slumber, I
Sit up, singing at one time and sighing
At another. I am awake always.


Alas! Sleeplessness has weakened me!
But I am a lover, and the truth of love
Is strong.
I may be weary, but I shall never die.

----

On Joy and Sorrow
Khalil Gibran

Then a woman said, 
Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises
was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be? 
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being,
the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine
the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit,
the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart
and you shall find it is only that which 
has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth you are weeping
for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow",
and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater".
But I say unto you,
they are inseparable. 
Together they come, 
and when one sits alone with you at your board, 
remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.