Slow and Steady

Slow and Steady
by Lydia Beauregard
--

On this slow and steady Sunday
I awaken and see the sky is grey;
I roll over and place my arms around you.

You slowly, steadily come to life,
Feel my arm around you,
and turn over to look at me; I see you.

Soon we are wrapped up in each other,
touching, twirling, syncing, dancing,
Feeling our slow and steady body rhythms.

I get up real slow, make coffee as usual,
You make a fire, steady in your routine,
And we come together to enjoy a simple feast.

We separate, but stay close,
While we slowly and steadily start productivity,
Although others might not consider us productive.

I see a beautiful eulogy for a friend; I cry,
Reminding me of how quickly, how suddenly,
The subtlety of our lives can be taken away.

I am grateful for you and I, for these moments,
Knowing that the quick and the sudden
Make our slow and steady so important.

Shame and guilt

There is a difference between shame and guilt.

Shame: the fear of disconnection. Am I worthy of connection?

You're never good enough.
Who do you think you are?
- Shame

Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior.
Shame is "I am bad". Guilt is "I did something bad"
I'm sorry I made a mistake. - Guilt
I'm sorry. I am a mistake. - Shame

The ability to hold something we've done or failed to do up against who we want to be is incredibly adaptive. It's uncomfortable but it's adaptive.

Brenee Brown on Shame, Guilt, Vulnerability

Choice

So this is what life is like

a life that you take hold of

that you make choices in

that you decide

yes

or

no

So this is what life is like

when you shut one door

to fully open another

to finally decide

yes

or

no

You'll never be done
saying
yes
or
no

Circle round

It feels like an eternity.
Time goes round and round until
we wait no longer for its infinity.
We circle around, circle back in time,
back far enough to see the back of our heads.
It's science they say,
it's the way the universe works.

Reference

I answer the questions as honestly as I can
Without knowing anything about the beginning, the middle or the end.
There is no point of reference
To begin to comprehend.

Look!

Look!
Just ... look!

Realize how beautiful it is
How complicated it is
The wonder of creation!

- the Book of Job

I am an Ocean

The Ocean -

she is full of tears.

She remains

as she appears.

She appears to be

laughing,

inviting, me

to take part in the dance.

The movement.

Shed a tear

in her,

and I shall laugh

with her.

---

At times it seems the only way out is through tears. Even when you don't know what the tears are associated with, they need to come out. They'll set you free. You will then be able to dance and sing and join in the world's laughter. You will be elevated.

So join her. Join the ocean in tears, tears of pain and laughter and all that is within her.