Why do we let things affect us so much?

Emotions seem to be out of our control. But they truly aren't. There is a reason behind every emotion you have, and you've brought it upon yourself. You are NEVER a victim to emotion. You've agreed with what you're going through, you have accepted it as truth, as regular, as you. But if you realize that everything is based off of your belief system, you can alter those systems to offer you better ground for decision making. Sometimes it feels like someone's words have physically wounded your heart -- the words contradicted everything you stand for. The physical pain is a direct result of you taking something personally, letting it "affect" you. But they're just words! Or it was just an action! Nothing touched you, nothing penetrated you ... but your thoughts are making you feel awful, aren't they? Depression is so common because we pile on all of this non-physical "disagreement" and let it build up until it's weighed us down so much we can't get ourselves to move! We're physically negatively altered from this unreal, transparent energy.

Thing is I don't know how to control this myself ... I've gotta alter all my current beliefs so that nothing affects me and I can stand on my own. Hard to do.

The book I was talkin about in my last post has blown my mind repeatedly. I love how things line up to coincide with what you're reading. If you're contemplating time, the answer will be shown in the book. If you wonder about past lives, the book will confirm what you were thinking. Oh the joy of reading!

Most important and beneficial phrase in the whole book is, "The present is your point of power." No matter what happens, no matter what the circumstances have been in your past or where your future seems to be headed, your present is where you change all of it. Belief systems have been huge for me: disecting every little thought that goes through my head and wondering if it's the way I want to feel about myself, or about the world around me. Your world is completely filtered through your consciousness, so you can't blame anyone, EVER, for what happens to you.

It's all you, baby.

Shredded Document

Super cool!!

Lots of little synchronicities lately, it feels good. I'm reading an awesome book called "The Nature of Personal Reality" by Jane Roberts (who chanels Seth for this book). A lot of the stuff I'm reading is popping up in my own experience which validates much of the information (but really you'll always validate information you've come across if you believe it to be true).

I'm at my office right now and had a client come in saying his documents were taken when they shouldn't have. This transaction was last Thursday, so almost 5 days ago. I told him that we may have put it in the shredding bin and most likely would have been taken away, but I could take a look for him. Instantly my mind raced and tried to make me believe I couldn't find it ... that it was impossible, it's been 5 days with SO much paperwork in between, and it would take something like an hour to sift through all the old paper in the recycling bin -- and worse is the fact that it probably wasn't even IN the shredding bin as it would have been "batched" and put in a box at the back. I told him I'd look anyway.

I sent out the intention of finding this man's document. I switched off my brain and started digging. I "figured", or "sensed" that this would be in the middle of the pile in the shredding bin, so I took out a whole bunch of stuff, placed it on the table (as it fell in all directions and looked very overwhelming) and then started looking at the names on each document. I quickly thought "How in the world am I going to find this man's document?!! I could be here for hours, it's impossible!" but I just as quickly caught myself and put it away. Instead I replaced it with "This document will pop up within the next couple I pick up". Sure enough, I was bewildered when I held in my hands my customer's document. Not only was it supposed to have been shredded, but we should have taken this and stapled it to the document in the locked up room to keep for reference. Miraculously, the agent who handled it before had forgotten and just tossed it in the recycling bin.

I don't know if I'm explaining it properly, if you can understand how big of a feat this was, but I was so proud of myself. I was proud that I was able to trust myself and in return was able to see the physical manifestation of such trust.

So folks -- trust. Believe. Understand that whatever manifests inside of you manifests instantly outside of you, no matter how subtle this result.

I love pep talks, I love encouragement and cool focus groups -- lots of things that help you get going on something you've been meaning to do for a long time. Unfortunately a little bit too big of a push will actually get me in the wrong direction. Someone nagging at me to finish something or to "get my butt in gear" probably won't do much, in fact it will do the opposite. I'm too stubborn to do what people TELL me to do. And really, most people are like this (take kids for example, they won't eat vegetables if you try and shove them down their throat).

Needless to say after that whole shpiel I'm ready to take things into my own hands and actually do something with my life. I've procrastinated enough... success here I come.

Being more present has been taught wrong, in my opinion. There is a past and a future but in order to make them more meaningful and purposeful the present must have more substance. This would be done through taking more time to be conscious of our surroundings: stopping ourselves and realizing what affects us, and what we're affecting as well. Being more present would in turn let us remember the moments that pass us by and become our so-called "past". Why would I want to live if I can't remember the love I felt through an amazing experience I had moments, days, or years ago? On the other hand, how many times have you tried to think of what you ate earlier that day and couldn't even remember? That, my friends, is not paying enough attention to the very actions you're taking. So sad!

I do think I've got solutions to that though. Comin' up real quick.

Say it out loud and you'll call it to yourself. Try it, it works!

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"Why not?" ... A question so simple to forget. I find it's a much easier question to answer than "Why?"

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"... they had been brought together not of their own volition or by simple coincidence, but by some curious perversion of physics -- as if relationships between people were susceptible to the same laws that governed the relationships between atoms and molecules."

"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?"

-- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The sick body -- hard one to figure out. I started getting sick last night and now I'm in a good amount of pain sitting here at work. I don't really need to feel a victim right now, which is one reason why I believe the body gets sick like this. Another reason would be needing to get rid of built up inner tension or emotion. I've been pretty stress free lately other than some deadlines but I think I've got them under control. So why am I sick today? Why is my body aching all over and my brain so foggy I can't simmer down thought patterns? I've got a very important trip coming up next weekend and I want to be in top shape for it.

These days feel like tests, too. Through pain one can experience epiphanies and new ways of looking at the world. Otherwise if everything was easy we wouldn't try to find new ways of seeing things. But what is it that I'm supposed to figure out? Heeeelllpppp!