Amazing how one night can change your whole perspective on something, or someone. The latter was my discovery last night. Don't know how long it'll last (I'm such a pessimist) but right now I feel great!! All from one night of yummy party favors at a somewhat dull dance party. We got to reconnect on a different level which I hadn't felt in a long time .. the bond we had when we started having more than friend feelings for each other. Oh yay. And I loosened up and met some new people, made some new friends. Haven't slept for about 30 hours and I've got 2 more to go here at work. Generally been a good day overall though!
What does life have to bring next? Ups? Downs? Allarounds?
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
"It is always the simple things that change our lives. And these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running, but life is on a stroll. This is how God does things."
I found this book on the side of the road about 2 weeks ago called Blue Like Jazz. I've had to really try hard not to read it all at once, to tear myself away from its pages because it speaks to me so clearly. Strange thing about this is the fact that the book is about Christian Spirituality. I was raised around a lot of religion, therefore am quite against it, but the way Donald Miller -- the author -- puts it, he makes it sound genuine, true, powerful, and a way of living that surpasses any other religion or even spiritual teachings I've come across. Everything he says, about love, money, people, war, and lifestyles rings true in me. Highly recommended book to see life through the eyes of someone else, yet resonate even though the world says these views are "different".
I mainly believe God to be "Source", much broader than the Bible would state. I'm sure Jesus reigned and was above many of his people and beyond his time, but I do not owe my life to him nor this God "figure" they've instilled in the mind and ego. So although I do not agree with God being this important statue whom we must all give away our lives to, confess our sins to, and feel bad for not pleasing, Donald makes it easy for me to see that God is pretty much anything that I want it to be, and the teachings he talks about can be and are, most often, applied to my life already. It's amazing the parralels I've found in the way he sees Christian Spirituality and my own "nameless" views.
I could quote his entire book if I really wanted to. So you'll be seeing a lot of quotes coming up from him. Highly suggest reading this book!! Blue Like Jazz, by Donald Miller.
I found this book on the side of the road about 2 weeks ago called Blue Like Jazz. I've had to really try hard not to read it all at once, to tear myself away from its pages because it speaks to me so clearly. Strange thing about this is the fact that the book is about Christian Spirituality. I was raised around a lot of religion, therefore am quite against it, but the way Donald Miller -- the author -- puts it, he makes it sound genuine, true, powerful, and a way of living that surpasses any other religion or even spiritual teachings I've come across. Everything he says, about love, money, people, war, and lifestyles rings true in me. Highly recommended book to see life through the eyes of someone else, yet resonate even though the world says these views are "different".
I mainly believe God to be "Source", much broader than the Bible would state. I'm sure Jesus reigned and was above many of his people and beyond his time, but I do not owe my life to him nor this God "figure" they've instilled in the mind and ego. So although I do not agree with God being this important statue whom we must all give away our lives to, confess our sins to, and feel bad for not pleasing, Donald makes it easy for me to see that God is pretty much anything that I want it to be, and the teachings he talks about can be and are, most often, applied to my life already. It's amazing the parralels I've found in the way he sees Christian Spirituality and my own "nameless" views.
I could quote his entire book if I really wanted to. So you'll be seeing a lot of quotes coming up from him. Highly suggest reading this book!! Blue Like Jazz, by Donald Miller.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Relationships are all the talk these days. Everyone's in one or has just fallen out of one ... and I don't know too many that are doing overly well, either. Makes me kind of sick to my stomach.
Today's thoughts (mostly rhetorical questions) revolve around how "together" two people should be. I suppose it all depends on the couple, but is there a "normal" amount of "togetherness"? By this I mean, does your partner become part of you, or do you stay two seperate entities? Do the choices your partner makes affect how you feel about yourself, as if linked with a transparent thread to your heart?
Personally I can't help but feel the hurt that my partner feels, and in turn feel disappointed when he does something I don't agree with. So what's the limit? How much can one take? Morals, values and ethics are supposed to be what you stand for, what you believe in and you're supposed to live your truth! Is it okay for your partner to contradict one of these? Can you love someone who goes against what you believe is right and wrong? A friend and I were discussing independence in relationships and how healthy it can be -- if you don't take it too far. You're in a relationship because you're supposed to compliment each other, work well together, and push each other forward.
....blaahahrhrhrhrgh.
Today's thoughts (mostly rhetorical questions) revolve around how "together" two people should be. I suppose it all depends on the couple, but is there a "normal" amount of "togetherness"? By this I mean, does your partner become part of you, or do you stay two seperate entities? Do the choices your partner makes affect how you feel about yourself, as if linked with a transparent thread to your heart?
Personally I can't help but feel the hurt that my partner feels, and in turn feel disappointed when he does something I don't agree with. So what's the limit? How much can one take? Morals, values and ethics are supposed to be what you stand for, what you believe in and you're supposed to live your truth! Is it okay for your partner to contradict one of these? Can you love someone who goes against what you believe is right and wrong? A friend and I were discussing independence in relationships and how healthy it can be -- if you don't take it too far. You're in a relationship because you're supposed to compliment each other, work well together, and push each other forward.
....blaahahrhrhrhrgh.
Monday, March 21, 2011
So, attached to my previous post, what do we do to be happy again? Affirmations aren't enough. New belief systems aren't enough, and no amount of alcohol or drugs could cover up the emotions forcing themselves through our pores. So if it's not an outside source that will cure our insides, guess we gotta use our insides to cure the outside?
I've found that crying helps, although I feel like an emotional wreck at times ... but it's so much better than holding it in. Most of the time I have no idea what I'm crying about! But half an hour or so later I'm satisfied and feel that my body's gotten rid of the negative crap taking over my brain.
Time is a big thing now too, as we constantly feel that there isn't enough of it to get what we want done. Funny thing is that time seems to slow down if you stop thinking about it so much. And that is definitely one way to be happier -- SLOW DOWN! Stop caring so much about where you gotta be ... focus on where you are.
I've found that crying helps, although I feel like an emotional wreck at times ... but it's so much better than holding it in. Most of the time I have no idea what I'm crying about! But half an hour or so later I'm satisfied and feel that my body's gotten rid of the negative crap taking over my brain.
Time is a big thing now too, as we constantly feel that there isn't enough of it to get what we want done. Funny thing is that time seems to slow down if you stop thinking about it so much. And that is definitely one way to be happier -- SLOW DOWN! Stop caring so much about where you gotta be ... focus on where you are.
Life is hectic right now. Crazy. Even if we're well off and have everything we could really ask for, our internal state is not satisfied. Our will power is slowly washing away. All the things we do don't have the same importance as they used to. The food we eat feels drained of its life energy, and in turn our bodies slowly drain themselves of the vitality we no longer have access to. There are so many factors we could blame, but really, all we have to blame is our selves.
I'm sure we all knew this "day" would arrive. The day where everyone is emotionally unstable -- much like the earth -- so much so that nothing is certain anymore, and our visions of a bright future quickly fade at the thought of the hard work needed to undo the damage we've done over thousands of years. Parents are divorcing, children are getting addicted to mind-numbing substances, animals all over the planet are going extinct, the trees are catching fire ... these are all polar symptoms of the same growing, spreading disease.
Not many of my friends' relationships are working. Not many of my friends' parents' relationships (including my own) are working. More and more people can't stand being in a room together, and when humans walk by each other we avoid all eye contact. Are we just afraid of others finding out what's hidden under the very thin layer of skin we're bound to? Finding out that really, we're just a huge sack o' potatoes?!
... it's as good of a guess as any.
I'm sure we all knew this "day" would arrive. The day where everyone is emotionally unstable -- much like the earth -- so much so that nothing is certain anymore, and our visions of a bright future quickly fade at the thought of the hard work needed to undo the damage we've done over thousands of years. Parents are divorcing, children are getting addicted to mind-numbing substances, animals all over the planet are going extinct, the trees are catching fire ... these are all polar symptoms of the same growing, spreading disease.
Not many of my friends' relationships are working. Not many of my friends' parents' relationships (including my own) are working. More and more people can't stand being in a room together, and when humans walk by each other we avoid all eye contact. Are we just afraid of others finding out what's hidden under the very thin layer of skin we're bound to? Finding out that really, we're just a huge sack o' potatoes?!
... it's as good of a guess as any.
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