Taking the smallest time to stop thinking and stop worrying is so crucial to health.

I just got a Thai massage and the stress release is immense. I even have a headache from it!

Starting your own business is a lot like cooking. You have to try many different variations of the same thing before it gets any good. You have to be patient, and willing to let it change both with your help and with outside help; for example, cookbooks. Without someone else's knowledge, you wouldn't be trying out this new recipe in the first place, and sometimes it takes more than one recipe before you find which is your favorite.

Make mistakes. Learn by doing. Make that risotto ten times before you've got it right. Same thing with your business. Use the tools around you to make things work, but don't use curry powder if the recipe doesn't call for it -- sure, it's delicious, but it won't do you any good with the dish you're making. If you're trying to market yourself correctly, you have to find the things that work for you and your business specifically. Find the recipe that works.

Today feels pretty magical. Yeah, it's raining outside ... whatever.

I went for coffee this morning, quite foggy brained. Not all that awesome, but either way I got my morning coffee at my favorite spot. GOOD! The walk back was brilliant, though. A few steps from the shop there layed a gallon of dark yellow paint, just what I need to paint my room and make it cozy. Nice! So I carried it along with me. Trees were prominent on my walk -- seems like it was today all the trees had been trimmed and the branches were left on the sidewalk. Bunches of them everywhere. Freshly cut trees stood bare naked on neighbor's lawns. I said hello, and looked up to see so many birdy nests, which also made me smile. If we don't get their beautiful folliage, at least we get to see what lies inside it all that time, invisible to our sight and in turn never even wondering about its contents. Now I got to see it in plain sight. Anyhow, getting carried away here with minute details... I walked along, feeling rejuvinated, and as I thought things couldn't get any better, I saw a cherry blossom. In BLOOM! The first of the season! It's not even Spring yet, one more month to be exact!

I LOVE THIS CITY. Even with its couple downfalls. What doesn't have it's good and bad qualities? I don't want to leave you ever, Victoria. Thanks for always "blooming".

No matter what book I pick up lately just doesn't speak to me. Well -- it does, for a little bit, and then it goes and tells me something I don't believe in or I don't WANT to believe in, and BAM. I don't like the book anymore! Right now I'm reading Sit Down and Shut Up, which is a book about Buddhism and Zazen. It's super cool as a concept but it scares the shit out of me when he starts mentioning not wanting to have an "end goal" of enlightenment, or not doing Zazen because you want to achieve anything but rather that you want to discover the "truth", even if the truth is really scary and doesn't do anything for your ego. It's this strange lie I keep from myself: that I want to know the truth. But when I'm close to it or I've found it, and it's not what I wanted it to be, I just choose to ignore it and seek for the truth somewhere else. Does everyone do this?

I figure though that the truth doesn't have to hurt or be ugly, or surprise you. If you look, ACTUALLY look around, the truth is right there. It's in the trees, the air, the rocks at your feet, the stop sign ... and if you see this truth as a mirror, it tells you about yourself too. I saw a dead rat on my walk this morning ... wonder what that's a "metaphor" for. eeek.

I figure if I just let stuff happen, they'll happen in the right ways. So far, so good. I started working with my mom, where I clean and organize so that we can get further with the renovations. It's alright -- I help my mom, she helps me. It feels good to make some money. Now I've dropped off two resumes at employers which I didn't even have to look for. I like how it's a proven fact that when it rains, it pours. That when you do one thing, more things just like it flow in. If only it were easier said than done. But for now, it's working really well.

I've decided to go back to school. This excites me quite a bit. Every hobby of mine will be handy and used quite frequently. I'll be able to make beautiful hand-made clothing, and help other people too.

I've been feeling extremes lately. Either really relaxed and happy or really stressed and easily strung. Moods are very black and white. I suppose I just need to ride that out and it'll all even out in the end!

I'll give ya something actually "philosophical" next time. Hopefully.

Feels like time is speeding by so quickly that I don't realize how much of it has gone by between posts here. To tell you the truth, I'd kind of forgotten about my beloved little blog. Perhaps it's time to start it up again.

2012 has begun. We can all feel it. I can certainly feel more rush to get something real and impacting on the go. There's no better time than now! We always knew it but did we sense it? When January kicked off, it was great hearing all the talk of new ventures, new resolutions, people wanting to start really amazing community-oriented things. It gives everyone this boost of energy simply from having these people around. But now it's time that we keep that momentum going and keep falling in love with what we're doing, over and over again, as if it were always January 1st.

I've already had my little freakouts. I'm overwhelmed, I won't deny that. The thing that keeps me going is having all these amazing people around me who inspire me and want to be better, do better, and actually get life-long projects on the way. I'm now starting to implement schedules and deadlines. I'm a huge procrastinator but I DON'T want to be anymore. The only person I have to blame for this is myself, so I can't go on complaining about it.

First post since my travels have begun.

I've been travelling for 11 days and it feels like it's already been a month. Time goes by very slowly here in the mountains of Guatemala. It's a good thing and a bad thing, if you have a mind like mine that doesn't stop thinking and twirling and wondering. And sometimes worrying. But I'm learning to cope with it and it's actually become one of my challenges-- to stop. Stop doing all of that. See and feel mountains but don't think about them. Really inject them into your soul. No picture or no amount of words could sum up what you've felt about something.

I already miss the people I love back home. It feels like I'm so far away. Hard to believe I've got another 35 days to go before I see them. I'm having a blast, don't get me wrong... but this blast would be intensified x100 if my lover and my friends were here with me. It's amazing how much we take in alone versus with others around us. It's like we seperate our vision and our emotions. Right now I feel like I'm dividing those with strangers, and it's a very different feeling. That's why much focusing and silence is necessary for me to actually love what I'm doing and where I'm at.

Wonderful experience, both the good and the bad.