am I needy?

I believe I am quite an easy-going person. so much so that in the past, partners have tried hard to rile me up so they can see me get angry, to see my "passionate" side, to see that I actually care enough because "caring means getting upset". but I don't believe in that. I try to give the other person the benefit of the doubt, try to see where they're coming from, and it doesn't make sense to blow up at each other to resolve an issue. instead of making them feel safe - they can usually come to me with most anything and resolve it with communication - they end up unable to trust me, as they think I must be hiding emotion or withholding information. so; being an easy-going person means when I do ask for something (because actions and words haven't amounted to connection), I think I'm too much. but is it fair, or is it needy, to ask for what I need?