Monday, June 3, 2024
consideration
Tuesday, May 21, 2024
start from the real start
the biggest fear is the one unknown. the threshold to a new land, to a new kind of safety, one I can never truly understand unless I pass through first.
I realize I've been holding myself back from getting something I truly want. this doesn't mean I won't get things I don't want along with it - on the contrary, the good with the bad will come. I will be glad to have had the courage to stand up for myself, to have the hard conversations, to keep choosing yes, you, yes ... you. every day in every challenge.
the heaviness of doing it alone is wearing me thin. I begin again. again. again. over and over I begin alone, trying to build a life to sustain me so that I may continue on the path to sustainability. starting alone is the opposite of doing it with another; if I truly want a life of union, then I must step away from alone completely and integrate, good, bad, ugly, joyful, ecstatic, blissful, disappointing, annoying, invigorating, heartbreaking, illuminating ... the yin and yang of existence, two opposites pouring from one container.
starting again alone means never asking the hard questions. starting again alone means the safe bet ... and the continuous "whatever" of life going round and round. I'm done with whatever. the fears are completely unfounded and do not stand on their own. when examined in the light, they stand no chance to be viable; they show the truth of my hiding, my holding to excuses and old beliefs which keep me in the past.
starting over means having nothing to lose and everything to gain. I can choose to start from anywhere - why not from where I truly, deeply want?
Sunday, January 28, 2024
wealth for me = wealth for you
on receiving the good (or bad)
where the miracle should come from?
who delivers it,
what gets delivered?
if I am emptiness,
the void may get filled with
all the jewels in the world,
and equally,
all the compost for fertile soil.
there may be many deaths I must die
before understanding everything is good for me.
the fortune and the mis -
the beautiful and the tarnished.
any gift of any nature
teaches the dreamer to accept what is,
and my dreams are echoing teachings
hard to accept, hard to master.
family dynamics
Wednesday, January 24, 2024
another year, passed
Sunday, September 10, 2023
Rosie Coloured Glasses
I take in the view from your star window;
a field of dreams, of bamboo and blackberry,
cloth floating through the breeze in the rolling meadow.
I walk through the field to the next room;
Trees of pear, apple, plum and persimmon
morning dew awakening my feet as I glide,
humming a tune, expansive in my being.
A family of strangers greet me as I enter;
endless bounty, generosity, child-like ease,
"come in as you are", a rare feeling of knowing.
Soon the sweet bitterness of coffee finds my tongue,
bird calling for you, you approaching me,
and an embrace, a touch of my back, awakens me to begin.